


wingman

by rayghosts



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: Book 7: The Atlantis Complex, Gen, ignoring the fact this takes place in 2005. everyone knows current meme speak because i say so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:55:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26178361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayghosts/pseuds/rayghosts
Summary: One nincompoop romantic meets another nincompoop romantic. Bonding ensues.
Relationships: Orion (Artemis Fowl) & Chix Verbil, Orion (Artemis Fowl) & Holly Short
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	wingman

"So, which one am I talking to?" Holly asked, looking up at the human boy stepping out of the shuttle.

The human smirked and answered, "The dreamier one."

Holly sighed and rolled her eyes. "Hey, Orion."

"So you admit I'm the dreamier one?"

"If the dream is a nightmare, maybe," Holly muttered. She craned her head around his body to look at the empty shuttle behind him. "No Butler?"

"Ah, Butler," Orion began dramatically, and Holly groaned as she realized he was about to burst into poetry again.

"Such a fine and loyal knight. He is as sturdy and reliable as a mountain, but alas, mountains are not meant to be buried in small spaces. He suffocates under the pressure of walls closing in around him, both metaphorical and physical."

"You're saying he has claustrophobia?"

"What is claustrophobia? Is that a fear of San D'Klass?"

Holly shook her head. "Let's just get you to the clinic," she said.

"As you say, my princess."

"Don't call me that."

"As you say, my...Holly."

As they walked, a fair number of heads turned their way. The sight of a human in Haven tended to do that. At least it wasn't nearly as much attention as when Artemis first started his therapy; by now, most fairies had gotten used to seeing him or his alter around.

The majority steered clear of the pair, except for one. A goblin came close and brushed against Holly, and suddenly, her pocket felt lighter.

"Hey!" she called out and turned around to catch the pickpocket, but the reptilian individual had already gotten on all fours and was fleeing swiftly.

She wasn't sure if Orion was aware of the theft or not, but as soon as he saw her angry, a scowl adorned his own features, and he ran after the goblin yelling, "Return at once, you evildoer!" He didn't reach far before Holly pulled him back.

"What are you waiting for?" he asked her, "The dragonborn is getting away!"

Holly didn't bother correcting him on the species. She pursed her lips and watched the goblin escape while her brain made a split second decision. She was supposed to be escorting the boy to Argon's clinic, but she couldn't just let the thief get away with her wallet. Even if Orion was more nimble than Artemis, Butler would kill everyone and then himself if she got a scratch on him, so she made up her mind.

"Stay here," she ordered Orion. "I'll be right back."

"Then I shall eagerly await your return," the boy called after her while she pursued the thief.

He obediently stayed and watched her turn a corner and disappear from sight. His wait lasted for about ten seconds before he got bored and began to wander around.

A draft of wind piqued his curiosity. He followed its source and gasped. "What majestic wings you have!" he exclaimed, looking at the sprite flapping his wings before him.

"Thanks," the sprite replied goodnaturedly, turning around to face him. As soon as he saw who the speaker was, the fairy's smile vanished, and he hovered back nervously. "A human! You must be him--Artemis Fowl!"

"My green-skinned compadre, you are mistaken," Orion informed him. "While I do share his face, I am not Artemis. I am his more chivalrous alter ego, Orion Fowl."

The sprite landed on the ground with a frown. "Oh, yeah. Atlantis Complex. I've heard."

"Correct. El Complex Atlantis. A disorder that sounds like it might also be the title of a very catchy song." He inclined his head and asked, "What about you? By what name shall I adress you by?"

"Chix," the sprite introduced himself. "Chix Verbil."

"Chix Verbil," Orion repeated. "You must be an excellent flyer with those wings."

Chix's expression turned sad, and he sighed. "Not really," he admitted, rubbing his wing. "At least, not anymore."

Orion noticed the coarse circle on the sprite's wing. "That spot..."

"A scar," Chix confirmed. "My wing got torn a few years back. It's healed, but never the same." Another sigh. "The ladies used to love it..."

Orion's expression hardened. "Now, that's just nonsense," he said. "Scars should not detract from your physical charm. They are the signs of a warrior's journey! If anything, they make you more appealing to the females."

Obviously, the praise was enjoyed by Chix, but he still raised a sceptical eyebrow. "You know a thing about ladies?"

Orion smiled and replied, "I consider myself the proud owner of all Artemis's smoothness potential. By the way, have you done something with your skin? It looks especially emerald today."

Chix chuckled, pleased, and fluttered his wings. "Wow. You're way more likeable than the other you."

Orion's smile fell, and he sighed wistfully. "If only Holly thought the same."

"Holly?" Chix prodded. "The cute Recon babe?"

"She is, indeed, what one would call a cute babe," Orion agreed, sitting on the ground so he and Chix could be at the same level. "Sadly, as much as it causes my heart despair, she does not love me back."

"That's understandable. Holly's a tough catch. I've worked with her for a while, and she was always too much of a prude to go out with me."

"You take that foul word back," Orion said passionately, pointing an angry finger at Chix's face. "Holly should not be pressured into any kind of date. She is perfect enough existing and exuding beauty by her own."

"You're right," Chix said, sounding remorseful. "I shouldn't have said that about her. She did save my life."

"She saves many lives," Orion said, his expression returning to its wistfulness. "An elegant princess, yet such a fierce warrior at the same time."

Chix smirked. "You have a thing for her?"

Orion's reaction was to become somber. "I have long ago accepted that she does not return my feelings," he said. "I only wish she does not hate me."

"Woah, hey, she couldn't hate you," Chix said, eyes wide.

"She does," Orion insisted. "She only cares about Artemis. I am nothing but an annoyance." He slumped. "It is not my fault Artemis is too anxious of our Complex to come out."

"I know Holly. She doesn't hate anyone," Chix argued. "Maybe she's just annoyed because you come off too strong. Girls prefer a tease."

Orion frowned. "Why would anyone tease emotions? I tell my feelings as they are. Though, it does not matter. Even if my awesome and beautiful warrior princess did like me back, Artemis would never approve of pursuing anything with her." He looked at his feet--Artemis's feet--and added, "I understand why. My existence is not eternal. Once Artemis is healed, I will be gone forever."

Chix remained awkwardly quiet. His wings twitched nervously as he wondered what comforting thing he could possibly say.

"That's a big oof from me," he ended up saying, which wasn't a comforting thing.

"Indeed," Orion agreed. "A fail gamer moment for me."

Chix patted his arm. "Hey, I'm sure you can find someone to love before you disappear," he said and shrugged. "I mean, there's plenty of other fish in the sea who would totally love your smooth flirting. Some Artemis might even approve of."

Orion mulled over this for a moment, then slowly nodded. "You're right," he said, his conviction strengthening. "Perhaps none as beautiful as Holly, but if Artemis wants any chance at romantic love, he needs my help. Gods know he's hopeless by himself."

Chix laughed. "That's the spirit," he said, nudging his shoulder.

Orion smiled. "And you, my winged friend. You do not need excellent flight to find a match for you in heaven."

"Wow, you really are smooth," Chix said, a dark green blush dusting his cheeks.

The call of Orion's name brought both males' attention around to Holly, who was coming their way. "There you are," she said to the human as she approached. "I thought I told you not to move."

"Holly," Orion greeted enthusiastically. "My beautiful prin..." He caught her expression and quickly amended, "My friend."

Hearing that from him made Holly smile, which in turn made Orion happy. The elf noticed Chix and greeted, "Hey, Verbil. How's that wing doing?"

Chix hovered a few inches off the ground and smiled. "It's doing great."

Holly met Orion's eyes and gestured with her head. "Well? You coming?"

Orion stood to leave, but Chix quickly said, "Yo, dude--I liked talking with you. Maybe we should exchange contact information. You know, just to chat."

Orion grinned and responded, "I would love that."

Holly looked between the two of them, her eyebrows raised. "You two are friends?" A second later, she hastily added, "Never mind, I don't want to know."

Orion winked at Chix. "I believe we would make excellent wingmen to each other."

"You would," Holly said, and the scary thing was that she meant it.


End file.
